The leaving song.

Sometimes people play hard to get to make sure that the other person's feelings are real.


I've recently had an epiphany about love, guys, & dating. It is clearly not worth my time. I either get the stage five clinger or the one who makes me chase them for three months only to find out that they're seeing another girl. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't really know what I want. I don't want someone to make it too easy for me, I like a little bit of chase, but don't make me run forever - especially if you have no intentions on putting forth any effort either. And now, once again, I am at a loss for words.. so if you're having a rough day, going through a rough time, or just angry at the world - mostly guys.. listen to my playlist.

1. How you love me now - Hey Monday
2. Homecoming - Hey Monday
3. Tonight Tonight - Hot Chelle Rae
4. What The Hell - Avril Lavigne
5. Stupid Boy - Keith Urban
6. Break Your Little Heart - All Time Low
7. Sick Little Games - All Time Low
8. You Lie - The Band Perry
9. Move Along - The All American Rejects
10. Gives You Hell - The All American Rejects
11. Ego - Beyonce
12. Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls
13. Undo It - Carrie Underwood
14. Cowboy Casanova - Carrie Underwood
15. Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
16. Deuces - Chris Brown
17. Tell Me I'm A Wreck - Every Avenue
18. Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
19. I Guess You Can Say Things Are Getting Pretty Serious - Forever The Sickest Kids
20. I Don't Want To Be - Gavin Degraw
21. I Pray For You - Jason & The Long Road To Love
22. Ridin Solo - Jason Derulo
23. I Look So Good (Without You) - Jesse James
24. Too Little Too Late - JoJo
25. Leave (Get Out) - JoJo
26. Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
27. What Goes Around.. Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
28. No Good - Kate Voegele
29. Devil In Me - Kate Voegele
30. Who You Are Without Me - Kate Voegele
31. Angel - Kate Voegele
32. Playing With My Heart - Kate Voegele
33. 99 Times - Kate Voegele
34. Hot N' Cold - Katy Perry
35. Use Your Love - Katy Perry
36. Blah Blah Blah - Ke$ha
37. Grow A Pear - Ke$ha
38. Sleazy - Ke$ha
39. Pretty Girl Rock - Keri Hilson
40. Goodbye - Kristinia Debarge
41. Poker Face - Lady Gaga
42. Eh Eh - Lady Gaga
43. Alejandro - Lady Gaga
44. Boys Boys Boys - Lady Gaga
45. Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus
46. Who Owns My Heart - Miley Cyrus
47. Tie Me Down - New Boyz
48. Just Dance - Lady Gaga
49. Better With The Lights Off - New Boyz
50. Silly Boy - Rhianna
51. Emergency Room - Rhianna
52. Ego - The Saturdays
53. Missing You - The Saturdays
54. Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber & Sean Kingston
55. Falling Down - Selena Gomez
56. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz
57. Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift
58. Should've Said No - Taylor Swift
59. Summer Girl - Leighton Meester
60. Everything I'm Not - The Veronica's
61. Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3


- Chandler

You've dug your own grave, now lie in it.

You lie, but I'm a pretty good liar. You chose a game I can play better. And you're bright, oh but baby I'm clever. So you might as well let me tell you.. It's not too late to do yourself a favor and walk away, though I know that's never been your nature. And by the way, you've put yourself in danger cause you're playing with my heart.

Lies. How do we distinguish what is the truth and what isn't anymore. Lies are easy to tell, but not so easy to spot. My favorites of all time would have to be the ones guys tell to get in your heart and/or your bed. I don't understand, and maybe I never will.. but I'm starting to feel like a lie magnet. Why are people so afraid of being upfront and honest? Has society somehow lost their way when it comes to truth and chivalry? Yeah. Life isn't like an 80's movie, unfortunately. As much as I would love to think that my life will somehow wind up like the ending of Easy A and ride off into the sunset on a lawn mower, it won't. That and I probably would never date a guy who drove a lawn mower.. but that's besides the point. Stop running your mouth and start telling the truth - life would be far less complicated.

On a musical note.. a LOT of new albums and singles dropped today. Including my personal favorite, Turtleneck & Chain by The Lonely Island. Their 20 track album includes singles like I Just Had Sex featuring Akon, Jack Sparrow featuring Michael Bolton, & Motherlover featuring Justin Timberlake. If you're looking for good beats with a sense of humor, I definitely recommend them.

Lady Gaga also released her new single The Edge of Glory. Now, I know everyone and their mother-brother-sister-uncle-cousin-and aliens watched her HBO Monster Ball Special .. but I've got to say, I appreciate her older stuff more. All of her new tracks just don't tie together very well, or as well as they could. DON'T COME AT ME LITTLE MONSTERS, keep your paws to your damn self.

Also, I'm thinking of doing another poll - I just haven't decided what I want to do. I'll think it over and have it posted by next week.

- Chandler

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends

Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you're not just a survivor. You're a warrior, and you're stronger than anything life throws your way.


I know I haven't posted in awhile - I've had a lot going on, and to be honest, I really have had no desire to post anything. I've now come to the conclusion I will never let my guard down, never. Just when I think it's safe to take the walls down, someone surprises me with a grenade. I can honestly say I am 110% over it. How much torture can one person take? If you want her, fine - be with her. But commit to her, not the rest of Fairmont States population, but just know I will not be one of your sideshows. I don't need you. I never did, and never will. I'm not even upset anymore, just sorry for all the other girls heart strings you've pulled and quite possibly shattered.


I don't have anymore to say. If you want my true feelings on this subject, listen to my most listened to.. they may be able to explain it better than I ever hope to.


1. If This Was A Movie - Taylor Swift
2. Should've Said No - Taylor Swift
3. No Good - Kate Voegele
4. Playing With My Heart - Kate Voegele
5. Ego - The Saturdays
6. Missing You - The Saturdays


- Chandler

The hero dies in this one..

Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I'm just destined to be alone.


Tonight hasn't been a very good one. I can't decide if I want to scream, laugh, or cry - needless to say I'm emotionally confused, so out of this confusion we get numbness. Numbness, for those who haven't experienced it is not really an emotion, it would be similarly compared to air or water - it has no good nor bad, it's just there, a mere existence. Blah, would also be a good term for it. I don't understand the male sex - having said that, I don't think any female ever truly will. You either want us, or you don't - it's pretty simple, black and white. So why must you complicate things further than need be? Remember when I said to believe in the best of people and that they might surprise you? Well, I was right. People surprise you. The hero turns out to be the bad guy.. and there's no way to spot a bad guy. He's charming, funny, smart.. and has really pretty eyes. I'm just tired of being treated like an option rather than a priority. And no, I'm not saying that I have to be number one in your life, just somewhere in the top five would be great. If someone ever figures this relationship/love thing out - let me know. Hopefully sometime before 2012, I'd like to experience it before we all die. Just kidding.


Most listened to today is..


1. Dancing With Tears In My Eyes - Ke$ha. Listen to it here
2. The Harold Song - Ke$ha. Listen to it here


- Chandler

Unopened letters to the world.

There are 82 letters in here, and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer, one a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. Cause you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable again. I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did, but i just thought that you should know. This is how I spent my summer, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it.

Have you ever written a letter to someone and never sent it? Never texted, e-mailed, or sent the words you really wanted to say? If so, you're like me. I have exactly 47 letters saved. Some here on my computer, others handwritten.. some lost in my cyberspace of my e-mail's Draft box.. but they all have one thing in common - the words I wrote, no matter who to, were exactly how I felt and when I felt them. Sometimes you just need to write it all down, if not some pretty good things could get lost. I'm not going to lie, if somethings pretty serious or I really need to let someone know how I feel - which is rare, I will write it out. I find that's when exactly the right words find me.. here's a little example. Mind you these are pretty personal, names won't be mentioned..

Letter One.

Help me out because I'm a little confused. You don't like some of the things I've done, but yet you've done the same? I don't get it. Help me understand what you want. Do you want me? If you do great - if not, I guess I can live with that. But you wanna know what I think? I think you do like me, or you could like me but you're too stubborn and scared to admit it because the last time you gave your heart to someone it got broken. And I get that, I've been there, but you gave up on the idea that you deserve to feel that way again. Please don't do that - even if it's not with me. I saw something in you, something good, and I still believe that. You just need to see it for yourself.

So you see, letters - no matter what their nature always have a purpose. To tell someone how you feel, to relieve stress, or just to take up time. How you write is up to you - whether or not you send the letters is also up to you. I've never let anyone see mine, until now. Who knows.. maybe I'll just post them all on here one day.. maybe.

MLTT - Most Listened To Today is: Tim McGraw - Taylor Swift or Lie To Me - 12 Stones.

- Chandler

The other half of me.

In the past I would have been fine with a fling, but I'm sorry - you missed out on that version of me. But my situation has changed and I'm trying to set a good example.


I do a lot of stupid things when I drink. I make promises I know I won't keep, tell myself this is my last drink, pour my feelings out in a stupid text message, and compromise my morals. Having said all that, I should never be allowed near vodka or a cell phone. I think the thought of drinking your feelings away sounds like a good idea at the time, but when you wake up the next morning with the hangover from hell, things don't look so pretty in the light. All the unaware and unlogical choices from the night before start to blur together and that can complicate things. Drinking only numbs things for a little while, and sure - he may be really cute and sweet now but when you wake up the next morning with fifteen text messages telling you what you did last night, well.. it kinda makes you reconsider things a bit. I wish I didn't use alcohol as a way to get through things, and in turn I wish it didn't cause me to make bad decisions with boys I've known for three hours. I guess these turn of events have shed a bit of light on my situation and made me really realize what I want out of life. I don't want a guy who just wants to add another number to his phone.. I want someone who understands the feeling I get when I pick up my guitar and finish a song. Someone who sees that there are two sides to me - both great.. someone who knows that one song can instantly change my mood.. I guess I just want someone who can see that the little things are the big things to me.

Most listened to today is anything by Kate Voegele. She's great. I recommend anything of hers.

- Chandler

Truth, bitter truth.

The bad guys lie to get in your bed; the good guys lie to get in your heart.


Do you ever wonder why people do the things they do? What makes them think that the lies the tell and the secrets they keep will stay buried? Well let me tell you, the truth always comes out in the end. Truth. It's a complicated subject. It can either make you or break you.. in most cases it breaks. Breaks up relationships, friends, families. When the truth comes out and secrets are exposed how do you pick up the pieces? I will never understand why guys believe that it is okay to play with girls hearts and minds. Not only is it sick, it's not fair. Don't tell a girl she's beautiful while you're cuddling with her and then go out the next day and have sex with one of her friends. That doesn't make you "the man".. that makes you a douchebag. It makes you seem desperate and worthless. No girl wants to have a relationship with someone they can't trust - and how could someone trust you if you're bringing home a different girl every night? Don't feed me bullshit excuses and don't call me babe. I am not your "babe" nor will I ever be. Oh and by the way, you don't get to have me. Not my body, and sure as hell not my heart. We're done.

Most listened to right now is Sleazy by Ke$ha. Listen to it here.


- Chandler