People are going to disappoint you.

I'm not the most eloquent speaker, so I thought I would borrow a few words from Shakespeare. "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds." When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. 


Today has sucked. Point. Blank. Period. It was like I couldn't please anyone or do anything right. I never thought I could feel so bad for going after something I really wanted. I don't understand, how can something that is supposed to make you happy, end up making you feel worse? People always ask me what I want. You want to know what I want?


I want people that shop in my store to quit complaining about everything.
I want to have the motivation to get through school.
I want to be able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour without benadryl.
I want to not be afraid of thunderstorms.
I want to be a better sister to my little brother.
I want my parents to be proud of me.
I want my dad to step up and take more responsibility as a parent.
I want to not have to worry about money.
I want to believe in the best of people, even when they've shattered that.
I want people to be more honest with me.
I want to want to get out of bed every morning.
I want to see my grandma more.
I want to go to church.
I want to stop using alcohol as an outlet for when things upset me.
I want people I've lost touch with to come back into my life.
I want to stop biting my nails.
I want to be an active member of my sorority again.
I want to be able to pay attention in my psychology lectures.
I want to wake up one morning and not have dark circles under my eyes.
I want my cell phone bill paid on time every month.
I want a puppy to come home to every night.
I want my mom to want to spend time with me.
I want to feel comfortable playing my guitar in front of other people.
I want to travel the world.
I want to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I want to feel comfortable enough to not wear makeup.
I want to not cry every time I hear Jar of Hearts.
I want someone like Lucas Scott from One Tree Hill.
I want to speak Italian fluently.
I want someone to find a better cure for cancer, and create one for AIDS.
I want kids to stop bullying each other in school.
I want cosmetic companies to quit testing their products on animals.
I want people to stop complaining and just use condoms.
I want my step dad to spend more time with my mom and less on the golf course.
I want them to quit playing re-runs of movies on HBO.
I want gas prices to go down.
I want to stop being so afraid of change.
I want to be better at math.
I want to feel like it's okay to be with someone and not have sex.
I want to let my guard down around people I like.
I want to be able to let go of the past.
I want to swim with dolphins.
I want to be in two places at once.
I want a boy..
who is honest with me, who doesn't feel like he has to impress me all the time, who lets me talk about my life and doesn't get bored when all my stories don't involve some party, who wants to meet my parents, who's nice to my little brother, who calls me at three am just because he can't sleep, who likes me better without makeup, who doesn't just want sex, who doesn't mind that I listen to all types of music, who doesn't care that I don't party every weekend, who can't wait to see me when he gets home, who doesn't mind watching movies I want to see, who doesn't bother looking at other girls because to him I'm the only girl, who doesn't laugh at me when the coffee I make tastes terrible, who realizes that I'm only human and I'm going to make mistakes, who kisses my forehead and holds my hand in public, who tells his friends about me, who likes my hair when it's a curly mess, who would rather stay in bed all day because he gets to be closer to me, who loves my best friends, who doesn't criticize my driving too much, who doesn't talk about his ex girlfriends, who gives me his jacket when I'm cold, who sings to me even if it's awful, who plays with my hair until I fall asleep, who doesn't stereotype me for being in a sorority, who would rather see me in sweatpants than dressed up, who doesn't judge me for not going to church every sunday, who tells me I can do anything, who loves to cuddle, who tells me he misses me even before he leaves, who texts me just to see how my day is, who understands my undying love for disney movies, who knows my favorite flowers are orange roses, who doesn't judge me for my shopping addiction, who can teach me something, who takes me to meet his family, who shows me silly pictures of him as a kid, and who knows that even when I say I'm not scared I usually am.


- Chandler