The hero dies in this one..

Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I'm just destined to be alone.


Tonight hasn't been a very good one. I can't decide if I want to scream, laugh, or cry - needless to say I'm emotionally confused, so out of this confusion we get numbness. Numbness, for those who haven't experienced it is not really an emotion, it would be similarly compared to air or water - it has no good nor bad, it's just there, a mere existence. Blah, would also be a good term for it. I don't understand the male sex - having said that, I don't think any female ever truly will. You either want us, or you don't - it's pretty simple, black and white. So why must you complicate things further than need be? Remember when I said to believe in the best of people and that they might surprise you? Well, I was right. People surprise you. The hero turns out to be the bad guy.. and there's no way to spot a bad guy. He's charming, funny, smart.. and has really pretty eyes. I'm just tired of being treated like an option rather than a priority. And no, I'm not saying that I have to be number one in your life, just somewhere in the top five would be great. If someone ever figures this relationship/love thing out - let me know. Hopefully sometime before 2012, I'd like to experience it before we all die. Just kidding.


Most listened to today is..


1. Dancing With Tears In My Eyes - Ke$ha. Listen to it here
2. The Harold Song - Ke$ha. Listen to it here


- Chandler

Unopened letters to the world.

There are 82 letters in here, and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer, one a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. Cause you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable again. I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did, but i just thought that you should know. This is how I spent my summer, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it.

Have you ever written a letter to someone and never sent it? Never texted, e-mailed, or sent the words you really wanted to say? If so, you're like me. I have exactly 47 letters saved. Some here on my computer, others handwritten.. some lost in my cyberspace of my e-mail's Draft box.. but they all have one thing in common - the words I wrote, no matter who to, were exactly how I felt and when I felt them. Sometimes you just need to write it all down, if not some pretty good things could get lost. I'm not going to lie, if somethings pretty serious or I really need to let someone know how I feel - which is rare, I will write it out. I find that's when exactly the right words find me.. here's a little example. Mind you these are pretty personal, names won't be mentioned..

Letter One.

Help me out because I'm a little confused. You don't like some of the things I've done, but yet you've done the same? I don't get it. Help me understand what you want. Do you want me? If you do great - if not, I guess I can live with that. But you wanna know what I think? I think you do like me, or you could like me but you're too stubborn and scared to admit it because the last time you gave your heart to someone it got broken. And I get that, I've been there, but you gave up on the idea that you deserve to feel that way again. Please don't do that - even if it's not with me. I saw something in you, something good, and I still believe that. You just need to see it for yourself.

So you see, letters - no matter what their nature always have a purpose. To tell someone how you feel, to relieve stress, or just to take up time. How you write is up to you - whether or not you send the letters is also up to you. I've never let anyone see mine, until now. Who knows.. maybe I'll just post them all on here one day.. maybe.

MLTT - Most Listened To Today is: Tim McGraw - Taylor Swift or Lie To Me - 12 Stones.

- Chandler

The other half of me.

In the past I would have been fine with a fling, but I'm sorry - you missed out on that version of me. But my situation has changed and I'm trying to set a good example.


I do a lot of stupid things when I drink. I make promises I know I won't keep, tell myself this is my last drink, pour my feelings out in a stupid text message, and compromise my morals. Having said all that, I should never be allowed near vodka or a cell phone. I think the thought of drinking your feelings away sounds like a good idea at the time, but when you wake up the next morning with the hangover from hell, things don't look so pretty in the light. All the unaware and unlogical choices from the night before start to blur together and that can complicate things. Drinking only numbs things for a little while, and sure - he may be really cute and sweet now but when you wake up the next morning with fifteen text messages telling you what you did last night, well.. it kinda makes you reconsider things a bit. I wish I didn't use alcohol as a way to get through things, and in turn I wish it didn't cause me to make bad decisions with boys I've known for three hours. I guess these turn of events have shed a bit of light on my situation and made me really realize what I want out of life. I don't want a guy who just wants to add another number to his phone.. I want someone who understands the feeling I get when I pick up my guitar and finish a song. Someone who sees that there are two sides to me - both great.. someone who knows that one song can instantly change my mood.. I guess I just want someone who can see that the little things are the big things to me.

Most listened to today is anything by Kate Voegele. She's great. I recommend anything of hers.

- Chandler

Truth, bitter truth.

The bad guys lie to get in your bed; the good guys lie to get in your heart.


Do you ever wonder why people do the things they do? What makes them think that the lies the tell and the secrets they keep will stay buried? Well let me tell you, the truth always comes out in the end. Truth. It's a complicated subject. It can either make you or break you.. in most cases it breaks. Breaks up relationships, friends, families. When the truth comes out and secrets are exposed how do you pick up the pieces? I will never understand why guys believe that it is okay to play with girls hearts and minds. Not only is it sick, it's not fair. Don't tell a girl she's beautiful while you're cuddling with her and then go out the next day and have sex with one of her friends. That doesn't make you "the man".. that makes you a douchebag. It makes you seem desperate and worthless. No girl wants to have a relationship with someone they can't trust - and how could someone trust you if you're bringing home a different girl every night? Don't feed me bullshit excuses and don't call me babe. I am not your "babe" nor will I ever be. Oh and by the way, you don't get to have me. Not my body, and sure as hell not my heart. We're done.

Most listened to right now is Sleazy by Ke$ha. Listen to it here.


- Chandler

Hate is safer than love.

Fall in love with rebounds? Every time. But it's not real love, your head tricks you into it to protect you from the crushing pain your heart is putting you through.

Do you ever look at a couple on the street and wonder how they got there? They look so blissfully happy, holding hands and smiling while they walk away. How did they get to that point in their life? Do they fight when they get home? Will they be broken up by tomorrow? Truth is, we really don't know. And we really don't know much about love. Sure, you can read all the books you want about it - but no book, or quote or philosopher can ever accurately describe how you are going to feel the second you fall in love. Now I don't claim to know everything, but I've been through a lot. And everything I've learned has taught me a lesson - more hard ones than helpful, but all the same I learned something. I can't really tell you if I've ever been in real love.. but I guess I think of love as something like you can't live, can't breathe, or be separated from each other kind of thing. Now that may sound silly but that's how I would want it to be. I would want someone to miss me so much it hurt and couldn't picture their life without me. I think everyone is scared to let someone in and fall in love, because that means letting your guard down. It's easier to shut someone out than it is to let them in and see who you really are.. guilty party of one. So next time someone wants to see your heart, don't shut them out.. I'm not saying fall in love right away, but if you do.. invite me to the wedding and sit me next to a really hot guy.

Songs of the day

1. Blind - Jason Derulo

2. What If - Jason Derulo

3. Always The Love Songs - Eli Young Band

4. Never Say Never - Justin Bieber

5. Learn My Lesson - Daughtry

- Chandler

The drinks we drank last night.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.. that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut.


You know that Kenny Chesney song.. "We went out last night, one thing started leading to another.." Yeah, that was my night. Let me just break it down for you.. made new friends, started drinking at 8 pm, played 10 games of beer pong, 20 games of flip cup, a few beer bongs later called a cab to take us downtown - made friends with the cab driver Dave, went to the Cellar, got hit on by four creepy guys and screamed at by one just because I wouldn't dance with him - I couldn't leave my girl Kim hanging. Left cellar and had no way home, it was pouring down the rain and we ran down High Street chasing down the drunk bus, got on the bus with 2,000 other drunk college kids - one of which had a bottle of Jager in his pants - kudos kid. Got off at the wrong bus stop and had to walk three miles back to the car in the rain. All and all it was a good night. I honestly have no clue how we survived, but we did & it makes for one hell of a story. That's what college is supposed to be about right? Making poor life choices but coming out of it with an awesome story.. check!

So my most listened to today are as follows..


1. Out Last Night - Kenny Chesney. Listen to it here
2. Keg In The Closet - Kenny Chesney. Listen to it here


 - Chandler

Believe me, I'm lying.

 I've learned love is like a brick, you can build a house or sink a dead body.


Another 3 am posting, this is officially a record. I really don't have a lot to say, just that I really hate when I'm trying to go up to someone, being the bigger person about things and they walk away mid-sentence. What does that solve? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Whatever. It's not my fault you were lying to me and her at the same time. It's not my fault you got caught. It's not my fault you can't keep up with your own lies. It's not my fault that when I try to at least make a civil conversation you get all freaked out and run away, yes runaway do it, please. That is literally what that was. You're scared, and I don't blame you. But it's not like I'm going to come at you with a flamethrower. Shit happens, it's life.. and yeah, sometimes life's not fair but we just have to deal. Over it.


On a musical note.. Lady Gaga just dropped her new single Judas yesterday. I have to say, I didn't think I was going to like it.. but I really do. Read the lyrics. It makes a lot more sense.

 - Chandler

Sad songs for dirty lovers.

Every song ends but is that any reason not to enjoy the music?


It's 3 am. I'm so delusional, so forgive me if this post rambles. It's one of those nights where I have way too much on my mind to sleep, and I definitely just caught myself belting out JoJo's Too Little Too Late into my hairbrush a while I was attempting to brush my hair - fail. So, here I sit, after yet another crazy night.. and what am I doing? Listening to songs that are making me sad. I miss a lot of things. For instance, when I went home earlier I took my brother up to the playground behind my parents house.. it brought back so many high school memories. Bonfires, crazy truth-or-dare games, and football games. I miss being carefree and seventeen. The world seemed so big and promising, now it just seems cold and scary. I miss my outlook on life and the future, I was so hopeful. Now I really don't know what to think. I've learned that everything in life has to be earned, people don't just give things to you. The real world is a lot harder than I ever could have imagined. But for that brief instant on that swing set tonight I saw the world through the same perspective I did when I was in high school - it made me feel safe somehow? Usually I have some sort of moral to my posts, but sadly for this one I don't.. just a list of songs that are my most listened to right now.


Too Little Too Late - JoJo
Alejandro - Lady Gaga
He Said, She Said (Time We Let Go) - NLT
Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
Leave (Get Out) - JoJo
Backseat - New Boyz
Use Your Love - Katy Perry
Diary - Tino Coury
What I Got - Sublime
(Ohio) Come Back To Texas - Bowling For Soup
Dark Blue - Jacks Mannequin
Baby - Justin Bieber
Kiss & Tell - Justin Bieber
Eenie Meenie - Justin Bieber
One Less Lonely Girl - Justin Bieber


- Chandler

Life in a glass house.

Have you ever wondered how long it takes to change your life? What measure of time is enough to be life altering? Is it four years like high school, one year, an eight year rock tour? Can your life change in a month, a week, or a single day? We are always in a hurry to grow, to go places, to get ahead.. but when you're young, one hour can change everything.


Just in case you haven't been listening to the radio for the past couple weeks, there is a relatively new band being promoted for a high school invasion concert.. their name? Junior Doctor. A band out of Coco Beach and just dropped their brand new album on January 25th called Clumsy Words and Bad Pickup Lines. Needless to say, this band is the reason I fell in love with music in the first place. Their lyrics are so relatable and so honest.. not to mention very catchy.

So naturally my most listened to today is from Junior Doctor. Tracks #3 Uh Oh & #11 Not Now are great.


Listen to Uh Oh here.
Listen to Not Now here.


- Chandler

ROCK THE VOTE!

Okay, so I don't have much to write about but the Victoria's Secret Pink Nation Bash voting for Fall 2011 has begun! Last year we won and had an amazing party complete with Pink model Channel, Drake & Kevin Rudolph. If you want to have another crazy ass party I suggest you click the link I provide in the bottom of this post and vote!

Just in case you missed out on the fun, I'll let you see a few shots from last fall.. mind you I worked this, it was OUTRAGEOUS.

So VOTE right now and encourage your friends to do the same! Right now WVU is ranked #41, WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT! If we win twice everyone will know why WVU is the #1 party school. Remember you can vote once a day, so it's important that you do it EVERY DAY.

VOTE FOR VS PINK NATION HERE!

When it isn't like it should be..

Aren’t you tired of measuring yourself to what guys think?


So I know I haven't posted in a few days, truth is, I haven't had much inspiration to until today. While working on my medical terminology homework, a commercial came on for the new season of 16 & Pregnant. Now mind you, this will make season THREE for MTV's series.

I seriously do NOT understand this madness. WHY market these girls and showcase their pregnancy to the world? Maybe they don't realize that fourteen year old girls watch this show, maybe they don't think that they glamorize the on-air girls situations to make it look a little easier than it is. Now I don't have a child, nor was I pregnant in high school, but I did grow up with a brother who is eleven years younger than me, so I do have some level argument ground to stand on. What really gets on my nerves is that they have open casting calls for girls posted on MTV's website, don't believe me? check it out. They are WANTING teenage girls to get knocked up so they can continue to bring in bank with their TV show. I'm aware that thousands of girls a day in the US become pregnant on a daily basis, and their lives aren't taped. No one sees the struggles and trying times these young women are forced to go through, and I applaud them. I'm a selfish twenty year old, and I know that I would not be as strong as half of these girls. I'm not going to throw statistics out there, because any health class you've taken since 4th grade has done nothing but preach.. but if you want the nitty gritty facts..

Teen Pregnancy Statistics

16 & Pregnant

It's Your Sex Life

Take the time to visit some of those links.

- Chandler